A month has passed, and today I decided to share this as a warning, hoping everyone can learn from my mistake: do not gamble!
On June 2, a few days after the end of the Backpack S1 season, I found myself with $135,000 in cash and suddenly felt a bit idle. I thought since I couldn't hedge with Backpack, I might as well do some short-term trading on Lighter; maybe I could grow my funds a bit before S2 starts. So, I started gambling with contracts, increasing my positions from small to larger, with a $1 million position where a 1% rise or fall meant $10,000—very thrilling.
🔸 On the first day, I lost $25,000 that night, leaving me with only $110,000. I thought to myself, the next day I would play it safe and not blindly trade frequently; if I could make $5,000 a day, I could recover in a week!
🔹 The next day, I indeed made over $4,000, and I was secretly pleased; if I could just hold on for a week, I could break even and then stop playing for good.
🔸 On the third day, I woke up wanting to trade, eager to make back my losses. I opened a position before 8 AM, but got stuck in ETH, which was very painful. I was sweating while staring at the stuck numbers, watching the stop-loss point get closer, enduring the agony all day. That night, I hit my stop-loss again, losing another $25,000, and suddenly felt relieved as if I were a prisoner knowing they were about to execute me, finally feeling light when it was over.
🔹 On the fourth day, I was down to $95,000 in capital and felt extremely fatigued, but I still wanted to recover my losses. That afternoon, there was a short opportunity, but I hesitated and didn’t enter; around 2 PM, I thought there would be a rebound, so I went long, only to get stuck again. By 5 PM, I hit my stop-loss directly, losing another $10,000, leaving me with only $85,000. At that point, I was all in, watching ETH break down, and at 6 PM, I placed a short order on my phone without setting a stop-loss! I shorted at the lowest point, staring at my phone on the way home, watching the price rebound, sweating profusely, but thinking: after such a long consolidation, if it drops 7% tonight, I could recover everything; I had to hold on!
By 8:30 PM, I pretended nothing was wrong while watching TV in the living room, but I couldn’t focus, checking my phone every minute to see the price fluctuations. Around 9 PM, ETH rebounded nearly $30, and I had already lost a lot of money today, feeling completely overwhelmed. My brain felt numb. I rushed back to my bedroom, desperate to close my position; at that time, Lighter logged in on my phone and said my access area was restricted. I frantically changed my phone's VPN node, desperately trying to close this unhedged short position. The moment I closed the position, I felt relieved; over these few days, I had lost over 500,000 RMB, lying in bed unable to say anything, falling into a deep sleep before 10 PM.
🔸 On the fifth day, at 7 AM, I habitually checked the price, and ETH had plummeted 7.6% (later I learned it was because Musk and Trump had a falling out). If only I hadn’t closed my short position, it would have been just as I had fantasized on the way home yesterday; a 7% drop would have meant I broke even. But that’s life; there are no ifs, no do-overs, you can only face reality.
This was my experience in the first week of June. From that day on, I went without a meal for 7 or 8 days, only eating a couple of bites of vegetables each meal to feel full, suffering from loss of appetite, depression, and mental exhaustion. Looking back now, I feel like fate played a trick on me; now when I look at candlestick charts, I feel extremely nauseous, a physical disgust. Life has no ifs. If you ask me what I gained, it might be that Lighter gave me 310 points that week, which is my highest points gain in history. But I am grateful for that experience a month ago; now, if my position isn’t hedged, I feel physically nauseous. I have become immune to these contracts; I have quit gambling.
✅ People live because they have hope. Thanks to my psychological mentor @Metabape and wise brother @dominolu for their help in helping me out of the shadows; the road of life is still long, I still have a bit of capital left, I still have points from @Backpack_CN, and I can still earn back through other means. As long as there are people, there is hope. People learn from lessons and should grow. I will work hard to achieve financial freedom in two cycles. Let’s work hard together, brothers! Do not gamble, do not go back! Keep it up!
from @小熊饼干.eth
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